A new part time job
by iCue
Summary: This is the sequel to my story, “It’s a part time job! OK!” Itachi needs a new job. Deidara’s forced to help him. Yeah. My summaries suck.
1. Picking a job

**HELLO PEOPLE. -waves- 8D**

**HOKAY. First off, I don't own Naruto. If I did, I would't of killed Deidara. TT-TT And Sasuke would be a cross-dresser. 8DDD**

**Second, I have dyslexia. x-x Spelling sucks. BE WARNED. A lot of OOCness.**

* * *

"Kisame... I still need a job."

Kisame looked up from a magazine he seemed to be so interested in.

"What?" He asked.

"A job, Kisame. Remember? When I was..." Itachi paused. He then muttered quietly: "Delivering pizzas with Tobi..."

Kisame chuckled and went back to his magazine. "That was funny..." He giggled.

"It was not! And I was FIRED because of Tobi! I still need money!" Itachi yelled with an anime anger vain.

"Well, what do you want me to do about it?" Kisame asked, turning the page and instantly getting a nosebleed.

"...What are you reading?" Itachi asked, looking over his shoulder.

Kisame was reading a book on fish.

Itachi sweatdropped and snatched the book out of Kisame's hands.

"...Anyways... I need a job." He muttered, crossing his arms.

"Why don't you work at another pizza place?" Kisame muttered, eying the magazine.

"Thats the last thing I want to do-- Isn't this your mom?" Itachi asked, looking at a magazine page.

Kisame looked over his shoulder. His face flushed. "UH-- UH-- UHH-- NOPE! NEVER SEEN HER BEFORE IN MY LIFE! Ha, ha..." He laughed nervously.

Itachi immediately threw the book out the window. Kisame gasped. "NOOOOO! MY MAGAZINE!" He yelled before diving out the window.

"KISAME. We're on the fifth floo-- ah, he'll find out..." Itachi muttered.

* * *

"Deidara, do you know where I could get a job...?" Itachi asked.

Deidara looked up from his clay sculpture.

"You could work in McDonalds, un." He grinned.

"I mean it, stupid!" Itachi growled.

"SENPAI! OTHER SENPAI!" Someone called.

"Hi peppy..." Itachi muttered, sweatdropping.

Tobi waved even though he was two feet away from them.

"TOBI KNOWS WHERE ITACHI-SENPAI COULD WORK!" Tobi called, twirling.

"And that would be...?" Itachi sighed.

"AT THE TOCO PLAC--" Tobi was interrupted by Deidara's fist crashing on top of his head.

"We're serious, Tobi,yeah!" Deidara yelled.

"Tobi is in pain now..." Tobi announced, his face in the ground.

"You could work at a restaurant..." someone muttered. Deidara and Itachi turned to see Pein.

"I'm not really good at cooking..." Itachi muttered.

"But Deidara is." Pein muttered.

"Leader-sama! You-- you can't be saying-- that I should help him, un!?" Deidara yelled.

"Thats what I'm saying. So do it, or your not getting your Christmas bonus!" Pein yelled pointing a dramatic finger at Deidara and walking away... dramatically.

"I guess I'm stuck with you, yeah..." Deidara muttered.

"CAN TOBI HELP!?" Tobi screamed, a huge grin under his mask.

"NO!" Deidara and Itachi screamed in unison.

* * *

**Well, this is the first chapter. o3o**

**No flames please. x-x Puppy doesn't like flames...**


	2. CHAPTER TWO DDDDx

"You got to be kidding me..." Itachi sighed, looking up at the building. 

"What kind of name is Kinpaku, yeah?" Deidara asked.

"IT MEANS GOLD LEAF!" Tobi screamed, putting his arms over Deidara and Itachi's shoulders.  
(Look, if it doesn't, don't blame me. Blame the online translators...)

"Since when do you speak Japanese, un?" Deidara asked, pushing Tobi's arm off his shoulder.

"SINCE TOBI STARTED READING THE FUNNY BOOKS UNDER ZETSU-SAN'S BED!" Tobi announced.

"You mean-- Icha-Icha Paradise...?" Itachi asked, sweatdropping.

"HAI! It's funny." Tobi nodded.

Before Deidara could say anything, the door flew open. Out stepped a man with short brown hair. He was wearing a pink apron.

"HHHHEEEEELLLLLOOOOOO!" He yelled in a feminine voice.

Deidara, Tobi, and Itachi stared at him.

"TOBI THINKS THAT GUY IS GA--" He was cut off by Deidara slamming a hand over his mouth.

"COME IN! COME IN! I HEAR YOU WANT NEW JOBS!?" "He" asked.

"How did you know...?" Itachi asked.

**FLASHBACK.**

_"Hello?" The "guy" asked. _

_"This is an anonymous caller saying that a blond haired guy and a guy with red eyes will be coming in for jobs..." Pein muttered into the phone. _

_"IS THAT YOU, BARNY!?" he asked. _

_"NO! THIS IS YOUR WORSE NIGHTMARE!" Pein shouted. _

_"Pein? Is that you...?" _

_"...Jeff...?"_

**END FLASHBACK.**

"Well, c'mon HONEY!" Jeff called, pointing into the building.

Itachi, Deidara, and Tobi walked in. The place looked normal. It was lit by paper lanterns. The walls where white, and it had a wooden floor. Eight tables where counted in it.

"Ok, darlings. YOU!" He pointed to Itachi. "You'll be the Waiter.

Tobi giggled, Deidara smirked.

"You, you'll be the janitor." Jeff pointed to Tobi.

"And you, M'am, will be the... uhh... what can you do?"

Itachi and Tobi laughed.

"I'm a man! For one thing. And I can cook, un..." He muttered.

Just then, a man walked up to Deidara from behind. "Hey, I was just over there, and I could't help noticing yo-- OH MY GOD!" He screamed and ran out of the building. Itachi and Tobi laughed harder.

"FABULOUS!" Jeff yelled, clapping his hands together. "Now, get ready. THIS IS GOING TO BE FABULOUS!" He screamed.

"Tobi still thinks that guy is ga--" He was cut off by Deidara slamming his hand over his mouth again.

* * *

**Well, chapter two is up. o3o Not much to say. x3**


	3. FIRST COSTOMER! 8D

Itachi and Deidara sighed. Not a soul had walked into the restaurant for the three hours they'd been working. 

"I see no point in cooking when theres no one to cook FOR, UN!" Deidara yelled.

"TOBI IS HAVING FUN, SENPAI!" Tobi cried, sending dust everywhere.

"TOBI!" Itachi yelled, covering his face from the dust.

Deidara sighed. "Could leader-sama have picked a worse job, yeah?"

Just then, Pein's voice echoed out in the room.

"SAY GOOD BYE TO YOUR CHRISTMAS BONUS, PAL!" He screamed dramatically before fading out.

"What the crap, un!?" Deidara cried before sobbing in the emo corner.

"DOES SENPAI NEED A HUG!?" Tobi scream/asked.

"NO! I'm fine, yeah!" Deidara yelled, standing up from the corner. He paused, looking down at the emo corner. "Oi, Itachi. Isn't that your brother... un?" He asked, pointing to the wall.

Itachi walked over and crouched down. There in tiny letters was carved,

_"EMO CONNOR. PROPERTY OF UCHIHA SASUKE. KEEP OUT."_

Itachi looked closer to see a chibi Sasuke stabbing a chibi Itachi. He sweatdropped.

"Man Itachi-san, your brother really has it out for you, yeah..." Deidara sighed.

"TOBI REMEMBERS WHEN ITACHI-SENPAI'S BROTHER CHASED US IN THE PIZZA TRUCK. ... Tobi lost Fluffy..." Tobi muttered, giving a small sniffle.

"Get over that possum..." Itachi muttered. "The only thing it was good for was clawing Sasuke's face..."

Just then, they heard a bell ring, signaling someone walking into the restaurant. It was Aburame Shino and his dad. Mr. Aburame.

"THAT GUY HAS A MUSTACHE!" Tobi screamed, pointing.

"Yeah, I do. GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT!?" Mr. Aburame asked.

"Dadddddd..." Shino whined, looking embarrassed.

"NOT NOW SHINO!" Mr. Aburame yelled. "I MUST GLARE AT THIS GUY! FEEL THE POWER OF MY MUSTACHE!"

Deidara, Itachi, and Shino sweatdropped.

Tobi blinked, staring up at Mr. Aburame.

"You got a mustache." He said quiet plainly.

"DAMN STRAIGHT I DO!" Mr. Aburame yelled before sitting down in a chair. "NOW FEED ME."

"How do you live with him, yeah?" Deidara whispered to Shino.

"I can't..." Shino sulked.

"FEED MEEEEEE...!" Mr. Aburame whined.

"DEIDARA. GET IN THE KITCHEN!" Itachi screamed, grabbing Deidara by the ponytail and shoving him into the kitchen. "And it better be good! I'M NOT GETTING FIRED ON THE FIRST DAY!"

"Well, what the crap does he want, yeah!?" Deidara yelled from the kitchen.

"I WANT PANCAKES! WITH A SMILEY FACE ON THEM!" Mr. Aburame yelled, frailing his arms.

Shino bashed his head onto the table.

"Dad..." He muttered.

* * *

**Yeah. Another short chapter. OwO But I don't really care. CUZ IT'S MY FANFIC, FOO'. DDDDD8**


	4. It's a chapter DDD:

"Ok! PANCAKES MADE, UN." Deidara yelled. 

"REMEMBER THE SMILEY FACE SENPAI!" Tobi cried.

Deidara looked down at the plain pancakes.

"Smiley face, un..." He muttered to himself. "TOBI! HAND ME THE BACON, YEAH!"

* * *

Mr. Aburame, Shino, and Itachi where waiting in the other room. Mr. Aburame was frailing about. "MY MUSTACHE IS HUNGRY!" Mr. Aburame complained.

"Does he always talk about his mustache...?" Itachi muttered to Shino. Before Shino could reply, Mr. Aburame shot an answer.

"YES I DO! BECAUSE MY MUSTACHE GIVES ME SUPER POWERRRRRSSS!" He screamed, jumping up on the table.

"DAD, SHUT UP!" Shino screamed, face flushed.

"NEVER SON! THEY MUST KNOW THE TRUE POWER OF A MUSTACHEEEEE!" Mr. Aburame screamed, jumping off the table with his arms extended in front of him. "WHOOSH!" He screamed, running around.

"Have you forgotten to take any medication toda--" Itachi began.

"SILENCE, FOOL! OR FACE THE WRATH OF MY MUSTACHE!" Mr. Aburame screamed, pointing at Itachi.

Deidara kicked open the door with a plate of pancakes. "I got the freakin pancakes! HAPPY, UN!?" He yelled, dropping it onto the table.

Mr. Aburame fangirl screamed and dived into his chair. He grabbed his fork and stabbed the pancake, shoving it down his throat.

Shino repeatedly bashed his head on the table, a few cracks heard of his glasses smashing.

When Mr. Aburame inhaled his pancakes, he looked up at the ceiling and screamed: "MY MUSTACHE IS PLEASED!"

"Tobi wishes Tobi had a mustache, senpai." Tobi whispered to Deidara who shivered at the thought.

"MY MUSTACHE DEMANDS ICE CREAM!" Mr. Aburame whined in a childish way.

"TOBI! GO INTO THE FREEZER AND SEE WITH WE HAVE ICE CREAM, YEAH!" Deidara shouted, pushing Tobi into the kitchen.

"Hai! Senpai!" Tobi called.

* * *

"What's taking Tobi so long...?" Itachi muttered.

"He better hurry up, un..." Deidara growled. Mr. Aburame was shouting about how Deidara's ponytail insaulted his mustache.

"I better go see what's taking him so long..." Itachi muttered. He got up from his chair and walked into the kitchen. A big metal door was in the back. It led to the freezer. Itachi grabbed the handle and pulled it open.

"Oi! Tobi! You get the ice cream!?" He called out.

"I-Itachi-s-s-senpai-i..." A voice muttered.

Itachi turned his head to see a half frozen Tobi. He sweatdropped again.

"T-T-T-Tobi is c-c-c-c-cold!" He yelled.

"Baka..." he muttered.

* * *

**Hai. Chapter four. 8DD**

**Air. DD8**


	5. Unyouthfulness DDx

"Oi! Deidara, we gotta defrost Tobi..." Itachi yelled, pulling a frozen Tobi out of the kitchen. 

"MY MUSTACHE DEMANDS ICE CREAM, NOW!" Mr. Aburame screamed.

Shino was still whacking his head on the table. "Dad..." he muttered.

Deidara walked into the kitchen and sighed.

"What did you do know, yeah?" He asked his partner.

Tobi's mouth twitched as he tried to talk through the cold.

"... Hey..." Itachi started with a smirk. "Lets pull his mask off!"

Tobi screamed, frailing his arms as if they defrosted.

"YEAH, UN!" Deidara screamed with a grin. He slowly reached out and grabbed Tobi's mask. Itachi undid the strap that held it behind his head.

Tobi screamed, frailing faster. The orange mask fell off.

Deidara and Itachi screamed.

"OH MY GOD! WHAT THE HELL!?" Itachi screamed, running through the wall, leaving an Itachi shaped hole.

Deidara followed, running over Mr. Aburame.

Tobi bent down and picked up his mask, putting it back on his face.

"IT'S NOT TOBI'S FAULT TOBI'S MISSING AN EYE!" he yelled after them.

Mr. Aburame sat up.

"COME SHINO! THESE PEOPLE OBVIOUSLY CARE NOT FOR A MUSTACHE." he called, walking out the door. Shino sighed and followed.

Deidara and Itachi where curled up in the corner, shivering.

"GET AWAY FROM US!" Itachi screamed, cowering behind Deidara.

Just then, two more people walked in.

"HELLO YOUTHFUL YOUTH FILLED YOUTHFULNESS OF YOUTH!!"

"Oh. Holy. Crap..." Itachi said, shocked.

"GAI-SENPAI! IS THIS THE YOUTHFUL YOUTH PLACE OF YOUTHNESS AND YOUTHHHH!?" Lee called to his idol.

"YES IT IS, FAVORITE STUDENT! IT IS UNYOUTHFUL THAT NEJI AND OUR FLOWER COULD NOT COME. FOR THEY HAVE CAUGHT AN UNYOUTHFUL COLD OF UNYOUTHFULNESS!" Gai screamed, almost deafening Tobi.

MEANWHILE.

"Are they gone? Did they fall for it...?" Tenten whispered.

Neji looked out the mail slot. After a few seconds he let out a relief sigh. "Their gone."

"THANK GOD"

* * *

Tobi looked at Gai, then to Lee, back to Gai, at Itachi, to Lee, Deidara, Gai, Lee, Itachi, Lee, Itachi, Lee, Itachi, his foot, Itachi, Gai, and then back at Deidara.

"...THOSE GUYS HAVE HUGE EYEBROWS!" he screamed, pointing.

"YES. MY EYEBROWS ARE VERY YOUTHFUL!" Lee screamed.

"Uh huh..." Itachi muttered. "What do you want to eat...?"

"WAIT! YOUR THE YOUTHFUL PIZZA BOY OF YOUTH AND YOUTHNESS THAT DELIVERED OUR PIZZA!" Lee screamed.

"LEE! IT WAS SO YOUTHFUL HOW YOU NOTICED THAT!" Gai screamed.

"Gai-Sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-Sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-Sensei!"

"Lee!"

They defined the laws of nature by hugging with a sunset background and Kisame jumping out of the water instead of the usual dolphins. ... Or Iruka.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT TO ORDER!?" Itachi screamed, getting annoyed.

"THE MOST YOUTHFUL THING YOU HAVE, YOUTHFUL PIZZA BOY OF YOUTHH!" Gai screamed.

Deidara sighed.

"Why do we always get the guys with mental problems, un...?"

* * *

**:3 Puppy could't resist throwing these two in here. XD**

**NO STORY IS COMPLETE WITHOUT GAI AND LEE! 8DDDDD**


	6. Not youthful either DDD:

XD Yup. I'm back. This is the second to last chapter. O:  
I hope you enjoy it. 8D

* * *

"What the hell do they mean be, The most youthful thing you have, un!?" Deidara growled, running up and down the kitchen. Tobi sat on the counter waging his legs back and forward.

"Why don't you help me, un! You can speak retard!" Deidara shot a glare at Tobi. Tobi shrugged.

"Tobi can't cook." He replied.

"ITACHI!" Deidara screamed. "I COULD USE SOME HELP!"

"I COULD TOO!" Itachi yelled back. Gai was pulling Itachi's hair complaining that it was unyouthful and that it should be cut like his while Lee held up a pair of extra spandex.

"But it will make you more youthful!" Lee whined.

"GET AWAY FROM MEEE!" Itachi yelled, kicking at Lee.

Deidara was now searching through cook books looking for the word 'youth'.

"Nothing, yeah!" He complained, throwing the book over his shoulder and nailing Tobi in the face. "You know what? Screw it!" He growled, reaching into his clay sack and pulling out some clay.

"They want youth, I'LL give'em youth..." Deidara grinned, shaping the explosive clay into some sort of plate.

* * *

Tobi jumped down from the counter and walked into the other room. Itachi was clinging to the ceiling fan with a kunai knife in one hand threating Lee and Gai to stay away.

"...Senpai!" Tobi called.

Deidara was still working on the clay.

"Senpai!"

Nothing.

"SSSSEEEEENNNNNNPPPPPPAAAAAAIIIIII!!"

Deidara slammed his head onto the table.

"Why!? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE AND LEAVE ME WITH THIS LOSER, UN!?" Deidara yelled up to the ceiling, remembering Sasori.

_You where annoying tooooo..._ a voice muttered.

Deidara looked behind him and saw nothing. He shivered.

"Well, if I die before Tobi does I'm haunting him, yeah..." Deidara muttered.

"SSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIII!!"

Deidara kicked open the door, teeth barred.

"WHAT!?" He roared.

"...hi!" Tobi grinned.

"TOBI..." Deidara growled.

"I COULD USE SOME HELP OVER HERE!" Itachi screamed, trying to pull himself higher up the ceiling fan.

"Yeah yeah-- Hey, un. Where'd the short freak go...?" Deidara asked, looking around for Lee.

* * *

"WHAT YOUTHFUL DOUGH!" Lee called, looking into Deidara's explosive clay bag. "I bet I could make the most youthful pizza of youthful youthness EVER with it!" He called, clapping. "GAI-SENSEI WILL BE SO PROD!" Lee then shoved his hand into the bag of clay and started shaping it. Lee turned the oven on and placed the clay inside.

"Youthful!" He called.

"Wait, where's my clay!?" Deidara called from outside the kitchen. He peered into the kitchen window and spazzed.

"NO!! IF IT'S HEATED IT'LL EXPLODE!" He screamed, running into the kitchen followed by Itachi, Tobi, Gai, and Jeff who had just walked in.

The oven was glowing red with heat. It was growing bigger and bigger. A loud whistling nose was coming from it.

"UNYOUTHFUL!" Gai screamed.

"OH HOLY CRAP!" Itachi yelled.

"This is SOOO not FABULOUS!" Jeff girlishly screamed.

"OVEN GO BOOM!" Tobi clapped.

The nose got louder and louder. The oven got bigger and bigger until...

Deidara slapped himself in the forehead.

"Oh, son of a--"

_**BOOOOM!**_


	7. THE END! OOOO:

**This is the last chapter! 8D**

**Sorry it's a bit crap. X.x I was coming up with it as I went along...**

* * *

"TOBI BROKE TOBI'S FACE, SENPAI!" Tobi called from under a pile of wood and metal. His orange mask was crumbled next to him. 

"Un..." Deidara muttered, half consinse and bleeding from all four mouths. His other three mouths where screaming bloody murder and his hair tie was blown off. His blond hair was all over his face.

Itachi on the other hand, was screaming/sobbing about his hair, which was messy now.

Jeff was probably dead, but no one really gave a crap.

"HOW UNYOUTHFUL!" Gai and Lee both screamed before the front door fell on top of them.

'Kinpaku' was completely destroyed. A huge pile of burning wood and metal surrounded the area. Smoke blew off it like crazy.

"THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR INSULTING MY MUSTACHE!" Mr. Aburame crackled as he walked past. Deidara, still facing down on the ground, weakly put up his hand and flipped him off.

"This is it! I can see a light! I CAN SEE SASORI-NO-DANNA, UN!" Deidara called. "Good bye world, I always hated you Tobi!"

"Thats the light from the fire you idiot..." Itachi muttered, now on the ground, hair still a mess.

"SENPAI! TOBI'S FACE CAME OFF!" Tobi screamed, throwing a piece of his mask in the direction of Deidara.

Deidara began to claw at the ground.

"I don't want to die, un! And I don't want to go to jail for killing that cream puff, Jeff! Do you know what happens to pretty boys who go to jail!? I'LL BE KILLED, YEAH!"

Just then, an arm came out of the pile of rubble. Itachi, Deidara, and Tobi all screamed. Jeff pulled himself out, hair on fire.

"MY RESTRAINT! MY FFFAAABBBUUULLLOOOUUUSSSS RESTRAINT! YOU DESTROYED IT! THIS IS SOOO NOT FABULOUS!" He scream/sobbed.

Itachi pulled out a kunai and pointed it at the direction of his own neck.

"No Itachi! With you dead, the fangirls turn all their attention to me, un!" Deidara spazzed.

"Ah man... where's Pein-sama when you need him...?" Itachi muttered.

"I AM EVERYWHEREEEEEE!!" Pein screamed, appearing behind Itachi. "...You blew up my favorite restaurant!" He yelled, kicking Itachi in the side. "Now you don't get a Christmas bonus!"

Itachi groaned and let his face fall back onto the ground.

* * *

"You -Beep-ing idiots. Why the -Beep- would you want a -Beep-ing part time job!?" Hidan growled.

Itachi, Deidara, Tobi, and Jeff where brought back to the Akatsuki base a while ago. Pein dragging Deidara and Itachi by the hair, Tobi who was clinging to his leg and screaming not to leave him behind, and Jeff crawling after.

The four now sat in the lounge. Tobi was sitting at the foot of the couch, his face completely covered in bandages. Deidara was sitting on the couch with his arms in casts. Itachi sitting in a armchair combing his hair furiously. And Jeff sitting next to Deidara, unharmed.

"It was to get money. I don't get payed enough..." Itachi muttered, still combing his hair.

"Thats a good idea. The more money, the better. Maybe I should--" Kakuzu started.

"No -BEEP-ing way you -BEEP-ing -BEEP BEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP-!" Hidan shouted.

Konan covered Tobi's ears.

"WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE! THERE ARE CHILDREN PRESENT!" she yelled.

"I DON'T GIVE A -BEEP-ING -BEEP- YOU -BEEP-ING -BEEEP BEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP-!!" Hidan replayed.

Pein took out his 'Secret Notebook' and scribbled down something. "Ah, Hidan. You where _soo_ close to getting your Christmas bonus too... but remember the rules. You can't curse more then seventy times in one afternoon..."

"-BEEP- YOU PEIN!" Hidan swore and stomped out, slamming the door.

"No Groundhog Day bonus either!" Pein called in a singsong voice.

Jeff looked from Pein to the other members of the Akatsuki.

"You know, this is just like my fabulous Christmas parties. Only everyone here's not wearing pink and they all look like they wanna hurt me." He said in a high pitched voice.

"Can I eat him...?" Zetsu asked.

"NO. YOU KNOW WHAT NON STRAIGHT PEOPLE DO TO OUR KIDNEYS." His left side growled.

Kisame was curled up in the corner, reading his Fish Magazines again.

"Oi, Tobi. Why so quiet...?" Konan asked.

"...Tobi just has a feeling we forgot something..." he said, crossing his arms trying as hard as he could to think.

* * *

"...hello? Anyone there!? THIS IS UNYOUTHFUL!" Lee screamed, still buried under the rubble.

"...HELLO!?"

* * *

**THE END! 8DDD  
Ok, I can't do ANOTHER sequel. XD That would just be stupid. BUT... that doesn't mean I'll stop writing Akatsuki fics! 8D  
So, yeah. More Akatsuki goodness coming soon to a computer near you. OOO:**

**AND NOW! Sour-senpai's alternete ending! 8D Enjoy**.

BOOM!!!!  
Or at least that's what they all thought was about to happen.  
"----SON OF A –BEEPING BEEEEEP-…..Whoops…." Deidara muttered.  
"….Is it over---?" Tobi asked, shivering next to his senpai. "…SENPAI, AM I DEAD?! HOMG, DID I DIE OF CANCER, SENPAI TELL ME I HAD A ----" Tobi was then slapped by Itachi. "Shh---Look!" Itachi pointed in the oven which had opened by itself, but only revealed rainbows and lollipops – (LAWL, REFERENCE. XD) and stars and a ton of pastel-pink as a gay pink llama covered in stars, had wings for ears and mascara filling its eyelashes to the point till they were considered daggers flew out of it.

"GASP! WILLY!!!!" Jeff cried, as he lifted his arms to the llama now named Willy.  
"BACK AWAY, HUMAN SLAVE!!" The llama hissed.  
"WILLEEEE!" The gay man said to his gay pet. " YOU AREN'T LIKE YOU WERE BEFORE!!"

"SIIIIILEEEEENCE!!!" The llama breathed fire of doom close to everyone's face.  
"HE IS UNYOUTHFUL, GAI SENSEI!!!" Lee complained, gripping his teacher by the shoulder tightly.  
"YES LEE, YES HE IS!! " Gai made a disappointed look towards the llama, even though it clearly had control over the situation.  
"….Willy, where ever did you go??" Jeff gaily put his gay hand on his gay face, trying to remember his gay memories. "….I mean— the last time I saw you, you were in Mrs.Luff's and I's pie shop…."

"Mrs?" Itachi questioned.  
"I'm not gay, sweety. " Jeff said gaily. " I have a wife, and two kids—" He chuckled through his nose.  
Deidara scrunched his nose in disgust, as Tobi was paying no attention what so ever, and playing with a spoon and a pot randomly from a cabinet.  
"DON'T YOU REMEMBER WHAT MRS.LUFF PUT ON THE MENU THE DAY I WENT MISSING IN THE PIE SHOP?!" Willy recalled.  
"Uh, like no?" Jeff complained.  
"…..MEEEEEE!!!" Jeff yelled, and spewed fire everywhere, including on Tobi's pot which made the spoon stick like glue. Tobi's eyehole bled tears, as everyone else in the room gasped.  
"YOU?! BUT HOW COULD THAT BE, SWEETIE---I MEAN---" Jeff proclaimed.  
"THERE WASN'T ENOUGH MEAT, SO SHE COOKED ME INSTEAD!!!" The llama whimpered.  
"THAT WAS SERIOUSLY UNPREDICTABLE!!!" Itachi yelled, as everyone stared.  
"GET IT?! CAUSE DEIDARA SAYS UN EVERY TIME, AND IT WAS PREDICTA---Oh nevermind, you people are retards. " Itachi complained, as everyone else turned back around towards the llama like nothing had ever occurred.  
"So she cooked you? Oh, dahling, that's so unfabulous!!!" Jeff came up and hugged his llama friend, as Willy started to shed black tears from all of the mascara he was wearing.  
"Aww…..So does this mean we can all go back home to Akatsuki? Un?" Deidara questioned, hoping to get out of this hellhole.  
"Ye---" The llama's sentence was cut short.  
"DAHDAHDAHDAAAAH CAPTAIIIIIN PLLLLLANEEEEET" A man yelled from above the ceiling, crashing through the roof, slamming into the llama's face, kicking him into the ground, and sending him so far down he was at the earth's core and melted once again.  
Everyone was silent.  
"….So…..Uh….." The blue man who called himself captain planet started to say, "….I got your signal Gai,…Uh----I kind of need to help everyone…..So….I….came…." He backed up a bit.  
Gai saluted him. "THANK YOU YOUTHFUL CAPTAIN OF YOUTHFULNESS!!!"  
"GAI SENSEI WAS A YOUTHFUL PLANETEER OF YOUTHFULNESS?!" Lee admired.  
"YES, I WAS ONE OF THE YOUTHFUL ORIGINALS!!!" Gai yelled in pride. "CAPTAIN PLANET, DON'T YOU REMEMBER ME?! I WAS THE YOUTHFUL HEART OF YOUTHFUL NESS!! "  
"Ugh…." The blue man in spandex sighed, pinching his skin in between where his eyebrows should be.  
"Look, I'm sorry, but the original Captain Planet is retired; I'm his son---Uh----" The man looked around to see some of the other people there. "YOU KNOW WHAT? I AM CAPTAIN PLANET BYE!!" The aqua man said the words so quickly you can barely make out what he was saying, and ran out of sight.  
Tobi looked back down at his pot and spoon which were now un-stuck.  
"YATAH."

Back at Akatsuki---  
"Yes, I'm firing all of them." Jeff said. "I can no longer run my restaurant…..It has…" He sniffeled, " Too many---MEMORIES!!!!" He sobbed.  
"CRAP, WHAT THE HECK AM I GOING TO DO WITH THESE GUYS THEN!? " Pein smacked his own forehead, as Deidara and Tobi grumbled.  
"But I do want to go get a javamochadecaffrappe at the local starbucks, anyone else want to come along?"  
"Sure" " I'm down" Was all that was said, as everyone left for the starbucks….  
Except for two akatsuki members.  
One, was already working at starbucks, hoping to get more money, in uniform, his long black pony tail tied in his hat.  
The other----Well…..The other was in the corner reading his fishing monthly magazine, still in his uniform. Made of red spandex.


End file.
